Kelp crisps

Leo doesn't eat much junk food (yet) but I thought I'd treat him to some home made crisps...made from seaweed.

I hung a few fronds of kelp on the line to dry for a day (and they did dry, despite the rain), then deep fried them, as per the instructions in John Wright's book:

I have sampled numerous crisps in my time, and I can safely say that Kelp crisps are the longest I have ever tasted.

They are also the worst.

Leo actually asked if he could try some (yes, a 2 year old asked to eat an unknown food that wasn't made of chocolate or fish fingers).  I said no and threw the rest in the bin.  That's how bad it is. 

I might be dead tomorrow... Never mind Leo - there are plenty of beans in the cupboard above the microwave.

Gutweed

How can something called Gutweed, which looks like this:

be a bad thing to eat, I hear you say?

Allow me to demonstrate:

The first time I tried to turn this stuff into food, I didn't rinse it properly, and nearly shattered my molars with a mouthful of sand.

This time, I was far more thorough, and subsequently spread the Gutweed out on a baking tray and dried it in a low oven for around four hours. Then I deep fried it. I did this because it seems like the only thing to do with it, according to google.  Apparently, deep fried gutweed is the authentic topping to some chinese stir fries (as opposed to deep fried cabbage, more common today).  It certainly looked authentic - a vibrant green, glossy mass of otherworldly wiriness, like the pubes of a wizened merman.

The verdict: Anna, my girlfriend, likened the experience to forgetting to close your mouth while being buried alive. Leo made a spluttering sound, like someone being buried alive.  I, however, liked it a lot.  It tastes slightly nutty, and I will include some in the next stir fry I make (Anna and Leo can have a sandwich).