Sunday, 5 December 2010

Sloe gin made by toddlers

Our children make our homes look shit.  Fact.

I can tolerate the general mess - the constant clutter of garish plastic crap cascading from every cupboard, but the "art" we force them to produce is, let's face it, rubbish:  At least cheap toys are made by professional children, and usually function in some way, even if not the one intended.  This, however:

serves no purpose whatsoever, looks crap, doesn't remotely interest Leo, and yet, I cannot throw it away.  I don't know why - Leo wouldn't care if I did, wouldn't even notice.

It seems that most other parents suffer from a similar disorder:  They assume their fridge door is white, because most fridge doors are white.  But they haven't actually seen their fridge doors for years because they are covered in layers of poster paint splodges on cheap crumpled paper.

There is a "wizard hat" (ie a piece of black paper rolled into a cone with some stars on it) sitting on the back seat of my car.  It's been there for weeks, and I carefully manouevre around it whilst unloading shopping, or strapping Leo in his seat.  Leo would happily jump and down on it, if I let him (and he has much better hats to wear). 

To slightly reduce the pointless "art" produced by your kids, I heartily recommend having them make sloe gin for you.  Leo loved adding the sloes, one at a time (plop!......ploink!.....plink!) and pouring the sugar into the bottles (and everywhere else) through a piece of paper rolled into a cone...(ok, vaguely useful).  And once he'd finished, we polished off the remaining gin between us, and Leo chundered everywhere!

Only kidding.